Tomorrow will be exactly one year since I lost my fluffy best friend. It still hurts.

So much has changed in the last 12 months and I really wish she was still around to see it.

Let me tell you about my Phoebe, she’s the dog I was never going to get.

We had talked about getting a puppy, done lots of research on different breeds, after much deliberation, decided on a Bernese Mountain Dog. I jumped n the computer to try and find a breeder in our state. I ended up finding an ad on for Bernese puppies but as I clicked on it, I happened to notice the next ad, For Sale: Mareema X Husky pups. I was curious, what an odd combination, I wonder what they look like? So I clicked on that ad instead and as the photo loaded, I fell in love. The picture that popped up was of five of the cutest, fluffiest things I’ve ever seen, and the fat grey one in the middle of the group instantly stole my heart. I rang the breeder and found  that the grey one was the only girl of the litter and still available. Within a couple of days we making the 3 hour drive down to Ballan to pick her up and Kane and I became the new parents of a crazy ball of fluff we decided to call Phoebe.

As a pup, she was mental. Never coming when called, running off to chase anything that moved (including the kids up the street!) and even once eating Kane’s wallet. We hoped Kane’s older dog might teach her a few good habits, but mostly she just taught her how to escape from our yard!

My Beautiful Girl

As she got bigger (and bigger, and bigger) she calmed down a bit, actually coming when I called her and being happy to walk on her lead without trying to drag me behind her. She looked just like a husky, except for her big brown Mareema eyes, and her size. She was huge, tall and lean and fast. She once ran alongside of my car when I was driving at 65kms/hr. I think she could have gone faster if she wanted too.

She was also the biggest sook and scared of practically everything. (except other animals) So many times I’d laugh because so many people were scared of this huge wolf dog when I’d take her out for a walk and would cross the street to not walk next to her, but if anyone actually came near us, she’d hide behind me or try to run away. My big chicken <3

Playing at the beach

Some people might not understand how much I loved my Phoebe, or think “It’s only a dog, get over it” but she really was my first baby, and she really awakened the nurturing side of me and helped to teach me to be more patient. I have no doubt that my dog taught me to be a better parent. I was never sure if I really wanted to have kids or not, or how I’d cope. I remember  one night when she was just a pup and she’d gotten sick and thrown up everywhere, and as I was cleaning it up, I thought “if I can handle this  without complaining, I can change nappies, no problem!”

I never had a dog growing up and I always wished for that “Lassie” kind of faithful companion you see in movies. Before she died, I could see that kind of bond starting to form between Snugglebug and Phoebe. Even though she’d never been around babies before, Phoebe was wonderful with Snuggle and put up with endless amounts of fur and tail pulling, she’d just stand there and take it , like “ok, I’ll be your toy, you can pull my ears if you want to.” When we’d go outside, if I stepped away from Snuggle’s pram, even for a moment, she’d go and lay in front of it to guard her. It makes me sad that Snugglebug is growing up without her doggie playmate.

I keep expecting to look up and see her standing at the door, tail wagging, waiting to be let in.

I miss my fluffy girl so much. Love you Phoebe <3

Till next time,

Beck xxx

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2 thoughts on “Phoebe

  • November 30, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    Most beautiful heartfelt moving story ever Beck. Has tears gushing down my face. I think she will always be with you even though you can’t see her. X


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