Where to start?
Last week was bullshit.
My attempt at 30 Days of Calm completely fell off the rails.
I had my grandparents visiting, which always sends me into a bit of a flap.
The kids were over tired and over-stimulated, their normal routines went out the window.
They were already grumpy and horrid when we gave them the news that their cousins are moving interstate. As you can imagine, they didn’t take it well. Lots of tears ensued.
By thursday morning I was desperate for a quiet day at home to regroup and catch up.
Hubby had to go run a few errands, Scout wanted to go with him but it was cold and crappy weather so I kept her home to snuggle and watch cartoons together.
I am so fucking glad I did.
Not 10 minutes later, I get a phone call from Kane.
“Don’t freak out, but I’ve had an accident.
I’m ok, I think, but I’ve rolled the van.
I don’t know if I can get out.
Can you come and get me.”
I don’t even really remember what came next, I know I calmly explained to the kids that Daddy’s car is broken and we need to get in the car really quickly and go get him.
Somehow I got everyone in the car and drove barely 100mtrs down the road where I found this.
I still can’t look at that picture without feeling sick to my stomach.
Luckily, Kane is fine, completely fine.
I still can’t understand how he wasn’t injured, not even a scratch, but I am so very thankful for it.
The weekend has been a blur of going to visit my family, searching for a new van, emailing the local council, vicroads, solicitors and everyone else I can think of to try to get this mess sorted out.
We came home yesterday and it all caught up with me.
All the stress.
All the worry.
All the relief.
I had a major anxiety attack, fell into a crying heap and went to bed at 7pm last night.
Today I feel a little better, a little more capable of dealing with this.
I’m going to spend the first day of spring outside, enjoying the perfect weather that Melbourne has turned on for us, I’m going to start thinking about my veggie garden, take my sketchbook outside and try to relax a bit.